Of course as we all know, the world ended Saturday. We were all magically transported to hades, you see. In hell, there is rock n roll, sex, drugs, and coffee! Yay! For my “pre-world-ending-accomplishments” on Friday, Drew and I went to Doolie's wings located in Layton just off Antelope Drive on the east side of the freeway. HIGHLY RECOMMEND the Beef Brisket Slider Combo. I’ve never eaten so much bbq in my life, and I was so happy! Every day before the world ends I want to request Doolie’s as my last meal! That place was so chill, everyone was so laid back, it’s like they didn’t realize the world was going to end the next day! Live music every Saturday, too. It’s a nice place to meet up with your military buddies.
My favorite band in the whole world, Necromaniac was playing at the basement that night, the last night of human veracity. And of course I had work, but I cracked my whip at the freight boys and we got out of there by 8:10. Just in time to see Necromaniac. Drew was telling me all about their theatrics planned for the show. “Judgment-Day” shirts, Jesus, skirts, and of course oodles of fake blood, (it tastes like raspberry!) I got there a few songs into it, but they played my favorites: “Meow-Mix” and “Their Vanquished Party”.
During the guitar solo, Cameron was kissing the Jesus statue and doing the chicken dance. Pretty messed up, but that’s why I love Necromaniac. Those boys just push the limits with them theatrics! Hopefully for my birthday show, on the 28th at Mojos, Click Here! Drewcifer will wear some lingerie! That is, if the world doesn’t end again before then. I am still getting pretty nervous.
Before Doolie’s with my soul-mate, I shot off more rockets with my neighbors. This time we had a legit hobby store rocket. The Orchard Flyer! And boy did she fly… straight into the river! She is gone from us, but her spirit of adventure will never be lost. Everett, Chris, his girlfriend Angie, and I walked up and down the river bank at Big Dee Park looking for our little warhead. It was in vain, but we did find a homeless man sleeping in the underbrush. “Sorry to disturb your slumber sir, but have you seen a rocket fall from the sky recently?!” Hah, what a joke. Luckily it was only a $10 rocket.
The rest of RAPTURE EVE was uneventful, because I was upset at Drew, and went home early. I was hoping to wake up and be flying and sparkling, but I looked out the window to the rain-stained side walk and noticed the lack of usual activity. “I must be the only human alive!” I gasped. But sadly, I realized that wasn’t true as I drove to work and saw everyone else driving to work. “Must be my imagination, the world ended, right?” how silly and confused I was, for I found out that the end-of-the-world events didn’t occur until 6pm eastern time. Damn it! This means I had to go to work. Boy was that the topic of discussion, I shared with everyone my belief that time is but an illusion created by humans, and that we must have all been transported to hell in the twinkling of an eye, and that none of this is real. Yep. None of this is real. Sex, drugs, rock n roll, right?
Paige and I went to Lee's Mongolian BBQ, Saturday night. (Yes, I know more bbq. I think it’s all they serve in hell.) I treated her for her 19th birthday which was almost a month ago, but as an elephant never forgets neither do Raychels. It was nice slurping down egg soup and talking about life as we knew it. She dropped me off at The Basement so I could see the overemphasized tournament of chumps. I knew Mermaid Baby would win, don’t get me wrong, those boys have worked hard, and deserve it. All I wanted was for Mountain Hymns to win. But congrats, gents.
Well the world must have really ended, because Saturday night, Everett, (the best neighbor ever) took me to get ice cream because I was sad and the butter pecan didn’t have any pecans in it! What a bloody rip off! Just buttery vanilla shit. We MUST be in hell if I’m getting jewed on my ice cream. I haven’t checked my cookies n cream yet, but if there are no cookies in there then I give up!
as always a fun read!
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