Owl Status

One year older and wiser too, I have now reached “owl status” I believe. I am wise, bad luck, mysterious, beautiful, and blah, blah, blah. Turning 19 was weird. I had to say goodbye to traditions, I really missed the candles, decorations, and attention from my family. Perhaps it’s not healthy to keep up such useless customs and behaviors anyway. But secretly, I’m glad that the day after my birthday was so much better. I got the attention I deserved! I felt like singing! “I feel thrifty, oh so thrifty; Thrifty, and nifty, and gayyyyyyyyy!” That was me singing, by the way. For my birthday, my mother and sister journeyed with me to the DI at Welfare Square. It was an awesome day for housewares! A new tea pot, waffle iron/maker, a dish rack, and cool old glasses! Man, I was in heaven. I also got a cool dress, and Whitney got some knickers! Jealous! What I really wanted was a bicycle, and it is STILL not in the stars for me to have one. I can’t find cheapies anywhere!

My favorite part of this entire weekend was when Cameron Reinhart said, “We would like to wish a very brutal birthday to a very brutal girl.” then proceeded to scream Necromaniac’s version of Happy Birthday. This Saturday was my 19^th birthday celebration at Mojos. Brad Rizer opened up the night with his classic harmonies, and even a rendition of NO FX’s “Happy Birthday You’re Not Special”. Marny Proudfit played, and it was very emotional, her new EP is much more mature sounding than her previous, and even her album. She has grown a lot through her music, and I wish her luck in her adventures. Thetaville, a progressive instrumental band from Salt Lake played next, and they rocked it. Who needs a six member band when you can get the job done with three? Machines Of Man was excellent. Every time is better than the last, and I was blown away. These guys have an EP you can pick up, but seeing them live is so much better. They are playing with The Human Abstract in June, everyone should go. Necromaniac was the ultimate entertainment, of course. Although fake blood was forgotten this time, Mother Mary was not. Cameron was making out with her, too. But as luck would have it, there was like seven people left in the room at this time, but it was special because they wore make up, skirts, and lingerie just for me!

I managed to forget to turn on the oven for my cake at my house, so I brought the “pudding” batter to mojos to bake it in his oven in the back. That cake was just bad luck, the oven was turned off at least three times, and I even burnt it once I got it to actually bake. Everyone who was there just dug in, and I was secretly disgusted. I wanted cake o meal, and to take this home, but no. It was destroyed in seconds by the gang.

I spent the later part of the evening with Drew Olguin at his place, playing with his hair and stroking his perfectly soft face. We are like a pair of kittens. cute, cuddly, feisty, and predictable. I love us!

Happy Rapture!

Of course as we all know, the world ended Saturday. We were all magically transported to hades, you see. In hell, there is rock n roll, sex, drugs, and coffee!  Yay! For my “pre-world-ending-accomplishments” on Friday, Drew and I went to Doolie's wings located in Layton just off Antelope Drive on the east side of the freeway. HIGHLY RECOMMEND the Beef Brisket Slider Combo. I’ve never eaten so much bbq in my life, and I was so happy! Every day before the world ends I want to request Doolie’s as my last meal! That place was so chill, everyone was so laid back, it’s like they didn’t realize the world was going to end the next day! Live music every Saturday, too. It’s a nice place to meet up with your military buddies.

My favorite band in the whole world, Necromaniac was playing at the basement that night, the last night of human veracity. And of course I had work, but I cracked my whip at the freight boys and we got out of there by 8:10. Just in time to see Necromaniac. Drew was telling me all about their theatrics planned for the show. “Judgment-Day” shirts, Jesus, skirts, and of course oodles of fake blood, (it tastes like raspberry!) I got there a few songs into it, but they played my favorites: “Meow-Mix” and “Their Vanquished Party”.

During the guitar solo, Cameron was kissing the Jesus statue and doing the chicken dance. Pretty messed up, but that’s why I love Necromaniac. Those boys just push the limits with them theatrics! Hopefully for my birthday show, on the 28^th at Mojos, Click Here! Drewcifer will wear some lingerie! That is, if the world doesn’t end again before then. I am still getting pretty nervous.

Before Doolie’s with my soul-mate, I shot off more rockets with my neighbors. This time we had a legit hobby store rocket. The Orchard Flyer! And boy did she fly… straight into the river! She is gone from us, but her spirit of adventure will never be lost. Everett, Chris, his girlfriend Angie, and I walked up and down the river bank at Big Dee Park looking for our little warhead. It was in vain, but we did find a homeless man sleeping in the underbrush. “Sorry to disturb your slumber sir, but have you seen a rocket fall from the sky recently?!” Hah, what a joke. Luckily it was only a $10 rocket.

The rest of RAPTURE EVE was uneventful, because I was upset at Drew, and went home early. I was hoping to wake up and be flying and sparkling, but I looked out the window to the rain-stained side walk and noticed the lack of usual activity. “I must be the only human alive!” I gasped. But sadly, I realized that wasn’t true as I drove to work and saw everyone else driving to work. “Must be my imagination, the world ended, right?” how silly and confused I was, for I found out that the end-of-the-world events didn’t occur until 6pm eastern time. Damn it! This means I had to go to work. Boy was that the topic of discussion, I shared with everyone my belief that time is but an illusion created by humans, and that we must have all been transported to hell in the twinkling of an eye, and that none of this is real. Yep. None of this is real. Sex, drugs, rock n roll, right?

Paige and I went to Lee's Mongolian BBQ, Saturday night. (Yes, I know more bbq. I think it’s all they serve in hell.) I treated her for her 19^th birthday which was almost a month ago, but as an elephant never forgets neither do Raychels. It was nice slurping down egg soup and talking about life as we knew it. She dropped me off at The Basement so I could see the overemphasized tournament of chumps. I knew Mermaid Baby would win, don’t get me wrong, those boys have worked hard, and deserve it. All I wanted was for Mountain Hymns to win. But congrats, gents.

Well the world must have really ended, because Saturday night, Everett, (the best neighbor ever) took me to get ice cream because I was sad and the butter pecan didn’t have any pecans in it! What a bloody rip off! Just buttery vanilla shit. We MUST be in hell if I’m getting jewed on my ice cream. I haven’t checked my cookies n cream yet, but if there are no cookies in there then I give up!

Houston, We Have Lift Off!

The salty taste of sweat and the sweet smell of gun powder combined together and made it one explosive afternoon! Orchard Avenue is always a happening place, why would I ever want to leave? Just as I was about to set out for a walk, my neighbor Everett knocks on my door and asks if I’m still alive and where I’ve been. I’m so glad my neighbors care and am aware of my existence!  He and the other guy in #2 were building rockets! (The “non-explosive” kind, of course.) All they were using was an old two liter bottle, water, and air pressure going through a cork. How could I miss such excitement for a walk? Pppshhh.  Although originally a simple plan, building this rocket was actually a big production. Everett and I went all the way to Fresh Market to get a pump needle, and then we had to glue the cork in because the hole in the lid was too large. Then the glue had to dry… blah blah blah.

But the fruit of our labors were well worth it. We shot off the first rocket in the back yard. It went at least four houses high, and the second time we shot it off, it went sideways into my Mexican neighbor’s yard. I sheepishly walked over and seized our “missile” from the grip of the prickly grass, apologizing for each trespassing step.  But that wasn’t a big deal.

Our third rocket was the most exciting. The folks from Orchard and I walked over to Lester Park to set off our “slightly illegal” rocket. This little beauty was what made me fall in love with the smell of gun powder. The large amount of general public and the possibility of an arson ticket for setting the library on fire scared us off to a less populated park. Thomas Park was prime, and just off 22^nd; no one was there except the team of rocket scientists and the intramural rocket journalist (me!) “There’s no sign that says ‘NO ROCKETS’!” I chuckled, as we set up and were preparing for launch. We counted down and off it zoomed- right towards me and Angie! We squawked and ran and laughed and I can’t believe I got the whole thing on camera! What a lovely spring bonding experience. I think more neighborhoods should do this together. Perhaps it should be a Sunday night thing: N.R.E. or Neighbor Rocket Evening.

Prom the previous night was something else, though. Unfortunately, the red devil provided by Miss Indie Ogden didn’t fit at all, maybe if I had a torso and was 6 inches shorter haha. So I wore the poufy sparkly dress, and brought my short one along in my back pack. Devin Olguin and his date Anna looked so cute, and I snagged a photo. Drew looked like one classy mofo, his tux jacket had tails and everything. I was so impressed, and I swear I saw a tear in his father’s eye!

incredibly artsy

But the real celebrities of the night were Cameron Rinehart and Molly Porter. Their outfits were entirely handcrafted out of duct tape! I will admit when I heard about their plan I was 90% doubt. I thought it would be shapeless and sticky and sweaty etc. Oh no! I was awestruck, and it was like disbelief slapped me in the face. The couple’s outfits looked impeccable. Cameron had a silver suit jacket, and Molly even had the matching corsage. Incredibly artsy!

 I spent the evening with Drew awkwardly-dancing, kissing, and laughing. It was just one of those things that you are obligated to do in high school. So I’m glad I forced him to take me. After the dance we went to Mojos and took a photo. We stood all serious next to the Steve Stones collection. An orb was even captured! Back at the Olguin house, (I had Drew home by a reasonable hour) I changed into his pants and a shirt. His pants fit me! Well, slightly big in the waist, but if I had a belt, and wore them low like he did, then I’d look just like him! He is the male version of me. Perfect in every single way, funny, smart, attractive, passionate about all the right things, and blah blah blah.

Rock n Roll

Steve Stones collection, orbs, and serious faces.

Je adorent se déguiser!

Watching your favorite movie in another language is a whole different experience! And that was precisely what I did Thursday night! Remember that French fellow that Drew and I met at the transit station on the night of unspeakable horror?! Well his name is Dylan Braillard, and he actually temporarily lives in Ogden. But of course that silly boy hasn’t soaked up the “Ogden Experience”! So we met up and I took him to mojos for Nurture The Creative Mind's Slam Jam “I have never seen this place…” he whispered. His eyes danced from painting to painting, his jaw dropped as Brad Rizer sang the blues, and I saw his nostrils flare with the smell of local coffee brewing. Well welcome to my home, it is so because everyone here is my family. People know me by name, and when they ask, ‘how are you doing?’ they actually mean it. There is real raw talent here, and there is that incredible feeling of community that cannot be felt in any other city or setting.

Now I am starting to get all teary-eyed!

Later Dylan and I watched 500 Days of Summer in French with English subtitles. It makes me really want to be motivated in learning another language, French specifically. If Drew learns it, then we can talk crap on people and they won’t know what we’re saying! Especially since you can’t really talk crap in sign language or Spanish in this town! The RayDo Show now featured in FRENCH! How deluxe! You don’t see other Ogden couples as extravagant as us!

Speaking of the RayDo Show, we shall be dressed in our best tomorrow night for the greatly anticipated St. Joseph High School’s Prom! Drew is going to look so sexy in his tux with tails! I am going to be featuring 2 or maybe 3 dresses that night, if all goes according to my plan! Stephanie McCarthy has so graciously lent me her black dress. This piece of household couture was designed and sewn by her mother Bodawn Roose; it features a hand beaded snow flake and volumes of tool and sparkle! My next dress that I shall change into after the dance will be the red devil! Mikki, or Indie Ogden, is providing this one for me. Originally from the 1970’s, the red dress has vintage polk-a-dots and a unique top. This dress will make a fine “after dance” ensemble. And of course, the 3^rd dress- my original. The sexy, sophisticated black dress courtesy of Spike’s Clothing & Stuff must be worn! The reason I had to get back ups was because of the “Prom Dress-Code” i.e. every dress must be floor length, and men must be in tuxedos. Ugh. Oh well, either way the RayDo Show will shine. And that is my attitude! Pictures of Saturday night to come!

Do You Smell That?!

Have I mentioned how much I HATE Salt Lake City? That entire valley pongs of hipsters, LDS businessmen, and expensive places to eat. I’ll take the smell of dog food and Hostess Snacks baking in Ogden any day to that sickening smell! Now I’ve had some good times in down town SLC, like Pride last year, various concerts in Pioneer Park, and exploring the back alley ways, (All of which literally stunk really badly, especially the back alleys.) …And I’ve had some horrible times, like this weekend, Saturday evening to be exact. Good lord! Let me just tell you, most of the problematic things I encountered were out of my control, but still! I was about to bust a nut!

#1 Drew and I couldn’t fix his bicycles in time to ride them in SLC as planned. When things don’t go according to plan, I tend to get flustered. But ain’t no-thang, we took the UTA Frontrunner down bike-less anyway. “It’ll be fun to walk around the city!” pppshhh!

#2 We didn’t have a plan of where to go or what to do because of lack of funds. Salt Lake isn’t exactly a budget town, what on earth is there to do for free? I suppose we could have walked around the historic Temple Square, but you walk around that once, you walk around that a thousand times ya know? Let’s be nice and say it’s BORING and not exactly my scene. So it was like we went all the way to SLC for a $1 Burger King coffee!

#3 My phone/life came crashing down. While walking back from getting coffee at the Burger King on 4^th (we’re on a budget and coffee all tastes the same, especially for $1,) I spotted a prime and perfectly climbable fire escape! ADVENTURE! This is the material all bloggers dream about, really. So I insisted that Drew and I climb up. “This particular alley smells the NYC metro system!” I cried. And it did, and it got me excited. So I scaled the picturesque city scape first, and quite enjoyed the ascent; Drew not so much. I don’t know if it’s the rusty ladder, perpetual fall, or the smell of adventure that turned Drew off to the idea, but he was NOT game. Luckily I am undeniable and a master persuader, so up the ladder he came! At the pier he clung to the wall like a cat to the branches of a towering tree. I had him hold my savers purse for me as I climbed down. “Hello! Are you planning on staying the night up there, or what?!”
 Silly Drew was scared to come down, but obviously my phone wasn’t! I heard a scary noise like that of shattering glass and a broken heart. It was indeed heart breaking. The screen was cracked and lifeless, and the rest of her red shell was scratched beyond repair. I was a silent and cold as stone. I mean, my phone isn’t THAT important to me, but Drew’s phone is also broken, so I was just thinking of how we would get a hold of each other. I didn’t exactly blame Drew for assisting in the assassination of my phone, but it was sure fishy how my purse magically somehow opened and that was the only thing that fell out! As you can imagine I didn’t hold his hand or speak much on the long walk back to the train station.

#4 You can never trust UTA. Of course all I wanted at this point was a swift train back to my cozy and sane Ogden home, but this wasn’t in the stars for me. The 10:15 PM train was scheduled for the yards, it was out of order.  Are you serious?! This event was totally out of my control, but I think it made me 2^nd most upset! We waited and waited at the station until after 11 for the next train. We did find a cool kid from France and was talking to him until his friends picked him up, and then we were all alone once again. Well, Drew might have been but I wasn’t. I had my bad attitude to keep me company. Also Every Time I Die, I so love that band.

I told you I HATE Salt Lake City, right? What a shithole. When we got off the train we had to walk back to my apartment, too. It was at least a mile and a half on tired feet and arthritis-infected knees and sour moods. Not pleasant. I will be perfectly content if I never have to go there again. If Drew is going to attend the U, well then I wish him the best of luck. I think he might have a higher tolerance for that wretched city.

Fiesta or Siesta?

With Cinco De METAL on Thursday, the new Rancho Market opening the other week, and an extra abundance of yard sales lately, I think I need a siesta! Today after working at the oh so exciting Good Earth, I decided today was the day for a bike ride. GASP! Raychel Jayne doesn’t even have a bike, how on earth can she be trendy in her little pink dress and ride around town?! Lucky for me there was a yard sale on 26^th and Madison, but nothing too exciting. Just a bunch of broken English, toys, microwaves, and yes even a bike or two. But I passed it up. Now I’m not a frilly, prissy, yuppie, hipster lass. No sir! I wanted a yard sale bike, and there was a certain lime green and black lady I was caressing and whispering sweet nothings to. She was missing all the hardware for the front brake, and the seat would give any crotch a bruise, but I wanted her! Sadly, now this is the tear-jerker segment of my ridiculous tale, I had no cash, (or peso I suppose this is Ogden we’re talkin about) to purchase said lady bicycle. (Insert sad face and twirling around in a fit of rage here.)But oh well, I mean, ya know, whatever. Hopefully Drew and I can fix his bicycles soon, because all I want is to ride around the city and get to the bus stop in a quicker and swankier fashion!

Speaking of Cinco De METAL: This Day Will Tell, the band that played and slept over at Mojos, joined me in a ghost investigation. It was scarier than usual in that smelly basement, probably because I kept telling stories of the good ol days and the rich history that Ogden has. I someday hope to be a part of Ogden’s antiquity. I love my hometown! The boys were getting scared, and the next morning they told me they heard knocking and unexplained noises throughout the night. Someone even encountered a shadow figure. Rad, right?

 This is the basement of MOJOS, with all the orbs and activity!

Ogden's finest yard sale!

Hints...

Summer is hinting. I can smell it on the breeze, feel it as I peel off my sunburn skin, and taste it in my cake-o-meal. Finally.

So what better way to bring in the “hints o summer” than going for a run through my beautiful mountain home! Ok, you’re right. Who am I kiddin? A RUN?! Pppppffff. I went on a walk/jog instead. I am so out of shape it is hilarious! Although I may have the appearance of skinniness, I am a fat lard! I almost threw up twice because I don’t have proper breathing technique, and I kept choking on my spit. Cute, right? I only made it to Harrison Blvd. which is still 11 blocks away. I only managed to not collapse on the ground by taking little “breaks” to tie my shoe or stretch. My body must be hinting something, that perhaps my rock n roll lifestyle (as if) is too much. Blahhh. Never again, ok maybe tomorrow morning, this time I will make it 1 block past Harrison! Little goals are what it’s all about!

The back porch of Mojos Café and Gallery is one of my most favorite places, blogging spot of choice, actually. It reminds me of when I had youth, when I first realized why life is so worth living. When I was touched and forever changed by local music. It’s an odd phenomenon, a quaint and fragile creature at times, and at others a beast. Well especially Ogden’s metal scene. The shows this past week were really great, with Everyone Dies In Utah and This Day Will Tell last night, as well as Across The Sun on Tuesday. It was a great week for hardcore.

And Saturday the 28^th of May will be even better. Necromaniac, Drew’s alternative-personality band is playing just for me. Well, all of you are invited of course. But it is a guaranteed good time. Cake will be involved too, and who can say no to that eh?!

    Mojos! Rock n Roll!

addictions

Alright, someone sit me down and let’s have an intervention. I’m an addict! To drinking half & half, to kissing Drew, going to the spring, to having tea parties, and yes- even to blogging. How terrible! Someone save me! Well, actually don’t because I love half & half too much!

This morning was completely lovely. On Sunday sunup, Drew and I like to go behind the back of mojos. We drink some tea, listen to the Mexicans sing Christian songs next door, and talk about our weekend. Usually Devin and Sage will join or meet up, but it was just me and my sweetheart today. I brought the cake I made last night, (prepared with local eggs, how indie of me.) I also brought along my elephant tea pot with an English breakfast tea, and of course the poetry book. We didn’t stay in the alley for long because the sun god was coaxing me out of the shadows and into the wilderness.

So, like the addict I am, Drew and I packed up and drove to the 27^th street trail head. We followed the “undisclosed path” to the satanic circle, which is actually no more than a hobo camp because of the fire pit and coolers and cans. We laid out my blanket, and sat in the fickle sun. I swear there were no clouds when I looked out my windows this morning! But all is well, because my skin is now slightly burnt and my cheeks are rosy, just like how I like. On our way down, we ran into the charming Mikaela Shafer and her indie family and small-talked for a spell. Speaking of her, she needs to blog about the “RayDo Show,” the name commonly used to describe Drew and me. Today was one of those “we are meant to be” days, seeing as how Drew and I kept saying and thinking the same things at the same time and whatnot. Sometimes I like to think we are the same person, or at least our souls, essences of being- existing, are in synergy. Actually, my soul is a dark corner in the depths of hell, but you all know what I mean!

Drew and I behind Mojos

                                          The local eggs i used for my cake! (thank you Amy!)

                                                         Me eating cake batter, (obviously)
                            

                                                                       SATAN