Have I mentioned how much I HATE Salt Lake City? That entire valley pongs of hipsters, LDS businessmen, and expensive places to eat. I’ll take the smell of dog food and Hostess Snacks baking in Ogden any day to that sickening smell! Now I’ve had some good times in down town SLC, like Pride last year, various concerts in Pioneer Park, and exploring the back alley ways, (All of which literally stunk really badly, especially the back alleys.) …And I’ve had some horrible times, like this weekend, Saturday evening to be exact. Good lord! Let me just tell you, most of the problematic things I encountered were out of my control, but still! I was about to bust a nut!
#1 Drew and I couldn’t fix his bicycles in time to ride them in SLC as planned. When things don’t go according to plan, I tend to get flustered. But ain’t no-thang, we took the UTA Frontrunner down bike-less anyway. “It’ll be fun to walk around the city!” pppshhh!
#2 We didn’t have a plan of where to go or what to do because of lack of funds. Salt Lake isn’t exactly a budget town, what on earth is there to do for free? I suppose we could have walked around the historic Temple Square, but you walk around that once, you walk around that a thousand times ya know? Let’s be nice and say it’s BORING and not exactly my scene. So it was like we went all the way to SLC for a $1 Burger King coffee!
#3 My phone/life came crashing down. While walking back from getting coffee at the Burger King on 4th (we’re on a budget and coffee all tastes the same, especially for $1,) I spotted a prime and perfectly climbable fire escape! ADVENTURE! This is the material all bloggers dream about, really. So I insisted that Drew and I climb up. “This particular alley smells the NYC metro system!” I cried. And it did, and it got me excited. So I scaled the picturesque city scape first, and quite enjoyed the ascent; Drew not so much. I don’t know if it’s the rusty ladder, perpetual fall, or the smell of adventure that turned Drew off to the idea, but he was NOT game. Luckily I am undeniable and a master persuader, so up the ladder he came! At the pier he clung to the wall like a cat to the branches of a towering tree. I had him hold my savers purse for me as I climbed down. “Hello! Are you planning on staying the night up there, or what?!”
Silly Drew was scared to come down, but obviously my phone wasn’t! I heard a scary noise like that of shattering glass and a broken heart. It was indeed heart breaking. The screen was cracked and lifeless, and the rest of her red shell was scratched beyond repair. I was a silent and cold as stone. I mean, my phone isn’t THAT important to me, but Drew’s phone is also broken, so I was just thinking of how we would get a hold of each other. I didn’t exactly blame Drew for assisting in the assassination of my phone, but it was sure fishy how my purse magically somehow opened and that was the only thing that fell out! As you can imagine I didn’t hold his hand or speak much on the long walk back to the train station.
Silly Drew was scared to come down, but obviously my phone wasn’t! I heard a scary noise like that of shattering glass and a broken heart. It was indeed heart breaking. The screen was cracked and lifeless, and the rest of her red shell was scratched beyond repair. I was a silent and cold as stone. I mean, my phone isn’t THAT important to me, but Drew’s phone is also broken, so I was just thinking of how we would get a hold of each other. I didn’t exactly blame Drew for assisting in the assassination of my phone, but it was sure fishy how my purse magically somehow opened and that was the only thing that fell out! As you can imagine I didn’t hold his hand or speak much on the long walk back to the train station.
#4 You can never trust UTA. Of course all I wanted at this point was a swift train back to my cozy and sane Ogden home, but this wasn’t in the stars for me. The 10:15 PM train was scheduled for the yards, it was out of order. Are you serious?! This event was totally out of my control, but I think it made me 2nd most upset! We waited and waited at the station until after 11 for the next train. We did find a cool kid from France and was talking to him until his friends picked him up, and then we were all alone once again. Well, Drew might have been but I wasn’t. I had my bad attitude to keep me company. Also Every Time I Die, I so love that band.
I told you I HATE Salt Lake City, right? What a shithole. When we got off the train we had to walk back to my apartment, too. It was at least a mile and a half on tired feet and arthritis-infected knees and sour moods. Not pleasant. I will be perfectly content if I never have to go there again. If Drew is going to attend the U, well then I wish him the best of luck. I think he might have a higher tolerance for that wretched city.
Ha ha Ray it wasn't so bad when my Mom and Aunt Sue took us down that time--do you remember that?
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